Blue Cat gets a lot of mail. Actually, Blue Cat gets a lot of junk mail, but he thinks it’s cool anyway. All those credit cards and house loans and special offers! He’s even on the mailing list for the Publisher’s Clearing House Sweepstakes! The problem is that Blue Cat’s mailbox is very small.
That means he needs to go get his mail frequently. Very frequently. Or else the nice postal delivery person takes all his mail back to the post office and leaves him a nice note like this:
So today Blue Cat got to go to the post office. At first he wasn’t too happy – it meant driving through the snow and taking up some of his precious sitting time – but then he saw it as an adventure. An adventure with a prize at the end.
The lady at the post office was very nice, and got Blue Cat’s mail very quickly. (There was a brief problem when she asked for identification since Blue Cat doesn’t have a driver’s license, but Blue Cat’s scribe had one and saved the day.) And what a treasure trove of mail!
Six-point-three-five pounds of mail, to be exact. About half of it was for Blue Cat’s family, but the rest was glorious junk mail. There were some nice catalogs from LL Bean (3 to be exact – Blue Cat hopes they carry clothing in XXXXXXXXXS), some more credit card offers (Blue Cat could charge for a house by now), and some interesting insurance offers (but nothing from that funny lizard). And many had “important information enclosed.” (Blue Cat is hoping they’re invitations to the Oscars.)
But Blue Cat’s favorite was from Hush Puppies, because there was a picture of two cute dogs (and some people – why do they always seem to want to get in the shot?). What’s your favorite junk mail?
So don’t forget to empty your mailbox this holiday season, and enjoy all the cool mail that folks will send you. And remember – it makes great kindling when the weather turns cold.
© William P Doyle, Jr 2013 All Rights Reserved
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